I’m running back to your promises one more time, Lord that’s all I can hold on to, I gotta say this has taken me by surprise, but nothing surprises you. Before a heartache can ever touch my life, it has to go through Your hands, and even though I keep asking why, I keep asking why,
No matter what, I’m gonna love You, no matter what I’m gonna need You, I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not, I’ll trust you, no matter what, no matter what.
(No Matter What-Kerrie Roberts)
Well, as most of your know from Facebook, Prayer Updates, or from my family, my life has not been easy and it seems like it has just been one of those season in which sickness will not leave and nothing seems to help permanently. Through it all, I am reminded constantly that “all things work out for good,” but good is not always easy to see on the surface. Since January, I have been having constant nausea and stomach pain that literally has prevented me from doing so many things and has knocked me on the ground. I was listening to this Kerrie Roberts song and it continually has given me hope through this time when it has been hard to find home. I have had major heartache, but it has all gone through God’s hand first and He has meant it for good. Sickness is the result of sin and we will have it in this world and we will not always understand the heartaches that we go through, but through it all I have found that my only hope is when I love, lean on the only one that gives me hope and holds the true answer…God.
Through the sickness, God has proven faithful. Sickness has provided great rest from a very hard semester and change from the first 6 months of being here in Indonesia, it gave me wonderful time to spend with my father, and it gave me lots of time to think. Sickness has also had its negatives, but God’s faithfulness as exceeded those.
At the beginning of June, after the fourth round of this sickness that we think we have a name for now, Bryn and I went in to Indonesia’s capital city Jakarta for a medical check-up and meeting with an internal medicine doctor. I was told again as blood tests and other tests have told us that I am normal and healthy. Of course, that is good news, but the question remains if I am healthy why do I feel so bad and feel so sick. The internal medicine doctor did a colonoscopy and endoscopy to look at my innards and she came up with a diagnosis. I began taking some medicine and the fourth round of whatever is going on in my body finally left for a time.
It was a fabulous time with my family showing them the vast Indonesian culture from Bali (Island south of Java) to Java (where Bryn and I live) and showing them the country and people that has captured my heart. It was 10 days of fun and exploration from cooking classes in Bali, volcanic ash sand beaches, monkies crawling all over us, dolphin sightseeing trip, snorkeling, angklung (local instrument) performances, celebrating our new house, and just enjoying each others company. It was too short, but we were so blessed they were able to be here.
The day my family left to head back to the states, I began having some major discomfort and pain that kept me up for a few nights and we contemplated what to do. I sent a note to some friends in Singapore that we had stayed with before. They kindly talked with one of their friends and asked if we could stay at their apartment for the week and they agreed. We debated on going to Jakarta, but ended up making a quick flight out of Bandung to head to Singapore after deciding we would rather talk to someone in English…not ½ Indonesian and ½ broken English. We arrived in Singapore on the day that the couple left, who’s apartment we were staying after a last minute decision to fly out sooner and not wait a week. I went to the surgeon made the conclusion that it was GERD an acid reflux disease not my gallbladder, but medicine did not work and I was in pain, so I went back again. No more medicine options is what we were told, but he was convinced that is what was going on. But, he referred us to a gastroenterologist that may know some of the newest treatment options. So, I went and saw the doctor and he was convinced it was functional dyspepsia with a hint of Irritable Bowel Syndrome. We met with a dietician as well to learn how to deal with my new condition and learned of all the food changes to help. I was given medicine and we stayed for a week in Singapore, so that if there were side effects that we would be near reliable hospitals, which was a blessing because one of my medicines was causing a huge migraine which I could not seem to get rid of. We went and saw the doctor and that day he received the results from the ultrasound that they had taken of my abdomen, in which we found that there was a tear on my liver. In order to make sure that this was not cancerous, I was sent to have an MRI. Medicine seemed to be working and I seemed to start feeling well, after the MRI I went for a follow up appointment with the dietician and gastroenterologist, in which he confirmed that it was not cancerous and that I could go home. So 7 doctors visits, 6 months of medicines in hand, 1 zoo trip, 1 turtle museum, and 2 ½ weeks later, we were given the ok to go home.
Home…a word that has not sounded so good in my life. Well, we have been home for a week and have been able to settle in to our new home. Everything finally has its place and it is just good to be here. Life is full of cooking experiments to try to avoid buttery, oily, sugary, fried, low-fat, and spicy foods, so that I can finally have a healthy gutt again and feel healthy. It has been adventure; we have made homemade non-fat yogurt, applesauce muffins, granola, and so many other things. It has been fun. I have been feeling ok, but still the nausea has not disappeared yet. Please keep praying for continued healing and that the medicine would continue to work and heal and that I am able to continue working out.
Through it all, God has provided all we need. I am so thankful that we serve a God who takes care of our needs and provides for things that we need even before we know what is going to happen. Thank you for all of your prayer through this process, so far. Thank you for those who have been able to give financially to support us over the last year. Really your support helps us be able to do the things that God has led us to this year. There are lots of adventures that I will share in my next post, but until then please keep praying for healing and continued health for Bryn and I.
If you would like to receive prayer updates and support us prayerfully, please e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org.